Chapter 2: Notice Yourself
Chapter 13: The Passive-Aggressive Martyrs Society (PAMS)
Chapter 16: Let Go of the Need to Be Right
Chapter 19: Playdates
Chapter 27: Let Yourself Off the Hook
Chapter 29: The Ripening
Chapter 38: Somewhere over the Rainbow
Excerpt from Chapter 2: Notice Yourself
This is the beginning of the journey available to all of us. Noticing ourselves, we track down the sources of our discontent and also of our joy. We discover nuggets of valuable information, energy, and personal resources hidden deep within. As we practice observing ourselves without judgment, accepting any feeling or thought we have without reservation, we begin to know ourselves better.
Excerpt from Chapter 13: The Passive-Aggressive Martyrs Society (PAMS)
How often do you simply say thank you when someone gives you a compliment? There was a time when I couldn't. It's a funny thing, but PAMS, who are so desperately in need of being seen in a positive light, reject anything positive that comes their way. PAMS feel unworthy of a compliment. We have identities dedicated to feeling broken on the inside. There's no room for feeling good about ourselves. There's no place for a compliment to land. There's no room for anyone to love us. The idea of really being seen, heard, and loved threatens to overwhelm us at our core with a tidal wave of complex emotions.
Excerpt from Chapter 16: Let Go of the Need to Be Right
You wouldn't be reading this book if you didn't have a positive agenda for growth. My suggestion to you is that you will find more satisfaction in this process if you can let go of the need to be right about who you are and who you need to be. This means letting go of attachments to opinions, labels, beliefs, and patterns. Replace these attachments with wonder in the moment. Wonder about who you are, who you will be, and have faith in your process. This is a courageous stance from which you can fulfill your heart's desires.
Excerpt from Chapter 19: Playdates
When you go out on a date, you are either an invitation or a life sentence. If you have expectations, if you're comparing the other person to The One in your head, you might as well make your judgment, bang your gavel, and find them prison clothes that fit. But on a playdate, you bring a sense of adventure. You're present in the moment. That's what an invitation is – a chance to play a new game in a new moment with a new person.
Excerpt from Chapter 27: Let Yourself Off the Hook
The illusion of control, the illusion of perfection, is a whip you use to lash yourself because you think that if you hurt enough you'll make the right changes in order to create the outcomes you desire. In fact, the opposite is true. It is by accepting yourself that desires manifest.
Excerpt from Chapter 29: The Ripening
"Mom, I know exactly why this is happening. God is opening up my heart so that I can make room for the love of my life to come in." See, up until that point, I never genuinely felt loveable. I felt love, but not loveable. I would open my heart and then shut it. Then I'd open it up a bit more and then shut it again. Cancer, love, generosity and my own faith and openness ripened me. I now welcome the years.
Excerpt from Chapter 38: Somewhere over the Rainbow
My point is this: everything that happens is happening for you, not to you. You are surrounded by great opportunity to have what you really want. Not only the goals in your future, but the acceptance of what is. Faith. Inner balance. A relationship with yourself, with God. The world, even if it's seemingly against you, even if you can't seem to achieve your goals or fulfill your responsibilities, even if you feel humiliated and stupid and crazy and alone, is for you. Trust.